Have you caught someone in a lie or maybe told your own little white lies? I’d venture to guess you have. Most people have fudged the truth a time or two.
Repeated lying, however, is a problem – and it’s one that pops up frequently in alcohol addiction. When you’re on the receiving end of lies or deception, it doesn’t feel good. The lies make us question our sanity, and they can break down even the closest of relationships.
But why do alcoholics lie? Someone struggling with alcoholism may lie for various reasons, which will be covered up ahead. Maybe you will see yourself or a loved one in the following examples.
Editor’s note: When we talk about an “alcoholic,” we’re referring to someone who is struggling with an alcohol use disorder. While the term “alcoholic” is still widely used, it is outdated and can sometimes carry negative connotations and judgment, which can hinder understanding and compassion. In certain instances, we do include “alcoholic” to ensure that a wide range of individuals – who adopt a wide range of terms – can easily find and access our resources. However, it’s more accurate and empathetic to use the phrase “person with an alcohol use disorder.” This term reflects the complexity of the condition rather than ascribing it to someone as a personality trait.
6 Reasons Why People with Alcohol Addiction Lie
Alcohol addiction impacts not only the body but also the mind, leading to behaviors that can appear deceptive. Lying is often a part of the behavior patterns in alcoholism, and it’s essential to understand why if you want to build self-awareness or help a loved one.1
1. Denial and Avoidance
Addiction often causes people to deny the extent of their problem. Those struggling with alcohol addiction may lie to themselves and others to avoid facing painful truths or to resist admitting that their drinking is out of control.
A defense mechanism is a person’s (usually unconscious) mental effort to avoid their fear, anxiety or other internal conflict.
This denial is a defense mechanism, allowing them to continue drinking without confronting the potential consequences or seeking help.2
Denial can look like avoiding or minimizing the problem (“I only drink socially”) or comparing themselves to others who may drink more. By doing so, they convince themselves or try to convince others that their drinking isn’t an issue.
When someone continues drinking despite knowing the potential consequences, the person develops a narrative that denies reality. This cognitive dissonance between their self-image and behavior can deepen their reliance on denial to protect their self-esteem.
2. Shame and Guilt
People struggling with addiction frequently experience intense shame and guilt about their behavior, particularly if they recognize the negative impact on their loved ones. Lying becomes a way to shield themselves from judgment and avoid adding to their feelings of guilt.
People with alcohol dependence often feel intense shame about their behavior, particularly as they become more aware of how it impacts themselves and others. Shame can stem from broken promises, negative behavior during drunken episodes, or failing to meet responsibilities – which inevitably creates a cycle of shame that’s tough to break without help.
They might lie to “erase” the issue to escape these painful feelings. Shame and guilt are excruciating emotions, so denial through lying serves as a psychological buffer, allowing them to avoid facing these feelings head-on. Shame also often leads to isolation, as people hide their drinking and distance themselves from supportive relationships. The cycle of problematic drinking can intensify as a result.
3. Fear of Consequences
Someone battling alcohol addiction may lie to avoid consequences like losing a job, damaging relationships, or facing legal repercussions. They may fear judgment or rejection, which can cause them to conceal their drinking.
Fear of interventions or other people attempting to control their drinking is also a powerful motivator for lying. Many people understand that undergoing an alcohol detox can beis extremely uncomfortable or painful, even in a supportive rehab setting.
4. Protecting their Access to Alcohol
A person with a drinking problem often lies to protect their drinking habits. By concealing the amount they drink, when they drink, or even lying about being sober, they can avoid situations where someone might try to stop them or restrict their access to alcohol.
Protecting access may look like hiding liquor where family members can’t find it, like in a garage or car. It could also mean drinking only away from home and lying about their whereabouts.
5. Impaired Judgment and Cognitive Effects of Alcohol
Over time, chronic alcohol misuse can lead to cognitive impairment and issues with judgment, which may lead to behaviors like lying.3 In fact, as addiction progresses, lying can become almost second nature as the brain adapts to prioritize drinking over honesty or long-term consequences.
While this lying isn’t necessarily intentional due to the impact of excessive drinking on the brain, it has the same effect on the people in the alcoholic’s life.
For many people with alcohol dependence, lying can become habitual, almost reflexive. They may begin lying even in situations where they don’t need to because it becomes an ingrained part of their behavior.
6. Sense of Self-Preservation
Over time, addiction becomes a driving force, often overpowering an individual’s desire to act ethically or consider others. Lying becomes a survival mechanism as they feel compelled to protect what they see as necessary to function -— their access to alcohol.
The scary truth is that without intervention, alcohol addiction can negatively impact most areas of life. Relationships are at risk of being lost. It’s impossible to trust someone who continues to lie; even inconsequential lies add up.
How to Break the Dishonesty Cycle
Recovery from addiction truly begins when an individual can acknowledge the problem and start addressing it honestly. Meaning they must confront their unhealthy behaviors – a painful process. To rebuild your relationships and establish self-honesty, stopping the cycle of lying about drinking is absolutely critical.
If your lying has grown out of control, here are some steps to help you stop:
- Identify why you’re lying – Understanding why you lie about drinking helps you get to the root of the problem. Common reasons include guilt, shame, fear of judgment, or the desire to avoid conflict. Once you become aware of these reasons, it becomes easier to change your habits.
- Reflect on the impact – Consider how lying affects relationships, self-esteem, and trust. Being honest allows you to build deeper, more meaningful connections and take accountability for your actions.
- Be honest with yourself – Acknowledge your drinking patterns openly. If you have underlying reasons for drinking or find it challenging to control, admitting this honestly to yourself is powerful.
- Find supportive outlets – Consider sharing your journey with supportive friends, family, or a therapist to help you feel less isolated and to facilitate honesty.
- Address the drinking itself – If drinking is difficult to control, addressing the habit itself can reduce the pressure to lie. If you’re worried about how much you drink, consider cutting back, using remote alcohol monitoring tools, seeking support from groups like AA, or talking to a professional.
- Practice self-compassion – Breaking the habit of lying can take time, especially if it’s been a way to protect yourself emotionally. Being kind to yourself and recognizing that growth isn’t always linear can make the process easier.
- Set small honesty goals – Set goals to be honest about small things with trusted people. Even small steps toward honesty can build momentum for more significant changes.
Actually, this last point is why BACtrack View, the remote alcohol monitoring service, was created. With each and every alcohol test, you can prove to people you care about that you aren’t drinking. And over time, as your negative test results build up, you’ll rebuild trust in your relationships. Try it free for 14 days.
Getting the Help You Need for AUD
A healthy first step toward recovery is realizing you need support to break the cycle and promote ongoing healing.
If you’re struggling with alcohol misuse or want to avoid falling into the vicious cycle of chronic lying connected to drinking, hopefully, learning about the ripple effects of lying will encourage you to seek support.
And if you’re dealing with a loved one’s addiction, understanding that lying stems from these underlying factors can help in approaching the situation with empathy, while setting boundaries and encouraging professional support.
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