In child custody cases, the stakes are high and emotions run deep. Whether you’re seeking to maintain primary custody or working to regain custody after a difficult chapter in life, few documents are as important as your best interest of the child letter to the court.
This letter – or more formally, a sworn declaration – tells the judge your story. It provides the facts that support your parenting plan and, most importantly, explains why your proposal serves the best interests of the child.
Get started on your declaration with this free best interest of the child letter example and template:
Best Interest of the Child Letter Example + Template
I’ve seen parents pour their hearts into these letters, especially those who have fought hard to overcome obstacles like addiction, instability, or trauma. One father I represented had lost custody of his daughter during a period of alcoholism. After two years of consistent sobriety, therapy, and parenting classes, his declaration became a turning point – it helped the court see his transformation, and he earned shared custody again.
Your declaration can do the same. Here’s how.
Step 1: Understand the “best interests of the child” standard
Before you begin writing, know the legal standard the judge is using. In every state, courts make custody decisions based on what’s in the best interests of the child. This includes factors like:
- The child’s health, safety, and welfare
- The nature and amount of contact with both parents
- The stability of each parent’s home environment
- Each parent’s ability to meet the child’s physical and emotional needs
- Any history of substance abuse, domestic violence, or neglect
- Continuity in school, home, and community life
If you’ve struggled with addiction in the past, for example, your focus must be on how you’re currently creating a safe, stable, and loving environment, right now.
Step 2: Customize the template, one section at a time
Here’s how to make the declaration template work for your case:
Heading
Replace the placeholders with your real name, address, date, and case number. Use the correct title of the judge or commissioner assigned to your case. It shows respect and professionalism.
Parenting responsibilities and history
This is where you lay out your role in your child’s life, both past and present. Be specific. Judges don’t want vague phrases like “I take care of everything.”
Instead, explain: “I prepare all meals, help with homework, manage bedtime routines,” or “I’ve attended every parent-teacher conference and medical appointment.”
If you’ve recently reentered your child’s life after a separation or court-ordered time apart, explain how you’ve re-established a healthy bond. One mother I worked with showed her full weekly parenting schedule, including every meal and activity, by attaching a meticulously-kept calendar as an exhibit to her declaration letter. The judge noted it in the ruling.
Excerpt from the Best Interest of the Child letter example and template, discussing parental responsibilities and parenting time
Current parenting time arrangement
If you already have a routine that works, spell it out clearly. Judges often prefer to formalize arrangements that children are already thriving in.
If you’re seeking to increase time – say, from supervised visits to overnight weekends – explain what’s changed: “I’ve completed a 12-month sobriety program, continued outpatient counseling, and have passed every random test ordered by the court,” or “I’ve maintained a steady job and secured stable housing.”
Best interests of the child(ren)
Frame everything through this lens. You are not just asking for custody because you love your child. That is simply assumed.
Instead, you’re asking for a plan that supports their safety, development, and emotional well-being. Try saying things like: “maintaining the child’s school and routine allows them to continue receiving therapy and support,” or “shared parenting time with a sober, stable parent fosters emotional attachment and a strong support network.”
Legal custody considerations
If you’re requesting sole or joint legal custody, explain why you are best equipped to make education, medical, and general welfare decisions. Give examples of decisions you’ve made responsibly.
Take this opportunity to request any additional support you may need from, including child support or help with medical bills. Attach child support worksheets or pay stubs. Be honest and show that your focus is not financial revenge – it’s stability for your child.
Include calendars showing parenting time, proof of treatment or sobriety milestones, letters from counselors or sponsors, or a parenting class certificate. One recovering father I worked with attached a letter from his AA sponsor, which showed the court he was doing real, ongoing work.
Judges aren’t looking for perfection – they’re looking for honestly, genuine dedication, and consistency.”
Step 3: Proofread and polish
Finalize your declaration letter by re-reading it, looking for spelling errors, making sure the child(ren)’s names or initials are correct, and ensuring you have filled in all of the bracketed material from the template. When I am proofreading a letter, it sometimes helps to read the entire thing aloud.
Regardless of your ability to craft a thorough declaration letter, remember the big picture: Judges aren’t looking for perfection – they’re looking for honesty, genuine dedication, and consistency.
One of the most powerful declarations I’ve read was written by a father who said something like: “I didn’t get everything right at first. But I got help. I’ve been sober for 18 months, and every day since, I’ve shown up for my daughter.” Judges typically look for ways to reward progress when supported by facts and documentation.
The declaration letter is just one more tool that can help you show a judge your sincerity in providing for your child(ren).
The bottom line on best interest of the child letters
Family law judges are trained to spot real change, and when your declaration reflects genuine transformation – if it was needed – your chances of gaining or maintaining custody rise significantly.
Let your declaration show who you are now – and what kind of future you’re building for your child(ren).
Best Interest of the Child Letter Example + Template
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